Blog
Rage Against the Machine
It takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage to be you. The world is constantly bombarding us with how we should look, eat, play, live, and act. On top of all of those recommendations, we are also told what to believe. Where we were born and raised will largely determine what god we will believe in and serve. That’s the tricky part about religion.
Who Gets A Say?
These days, It seems as though everyone feels the freedom to speak into our lives. The internet has especially made this very easy for people to poke their proverbial noses into our lives. When locked up in religion, it seems that everyone has the right to tell you how to live your life. After all, they have the Bible, which tells us how to live a righteous life. However, when one is considered part of the "family of god," the communal aspect can be toxic.
Who Am I
Who am I? This is a challenging question for people after leaving religion. Oftentimes a person comes out of religion trying to figure out the simplest things about themself. They have gone from being “controlled” and taught how to think, feel, what to say, and how to act. If the person has been in the church a long time then this challenge can feel greater. I know that this can feel like a daunting task and that there is trauma but let me off some words of encouragement.
Moving On
How do you move on after you have bought into religion and discover that you need to leave? How do you move on after spending so much time in the church? I faced these tough questions and more. It’s easy for a non-religious person to say, “just don’t go back and live your life.” The truth is, the guilt distorts our view on life. Further, the lack of a supportive community can be lonely and scary.
B.O.X. of Authenticity
The pastor on stage shares this message and parallels it to living an honest and truthful life. This concept sounds great in theory; however, the truth of the matter is that the church only desires authenticity within a specific framework. The church sets up this framework. Anything outside of this framework is frowned upon or needs to change.
E + R = O
I’m a big college football fan. I remember watching a coach teaching his players in spring practice about this dynamic, E+R=O. This opened my eyes. Breaking it down, it stands for E=Events, R=Response, O=Outcome. I thought about this applying to life and what it meant. The only aspect we can control in life is our response. How we respond will change us internally and affect our outcome in some way.
Shame
Growing up, I often felt ashamed of things I had done. I think most people in religion feel shame. We are taught from early childhood that we are evil until we become children of God. The proverbial "child of wrath," if you will. As a child, I was taught that I was sinful and unworthy.
The Bait and Switch
If you exist on the margins you are familiar with this tactic. A church sends out a welcoming invite, declaring that “all are welcome.” In the beginning, it feels like a safe place. Maybe...just maybe, this place will accept you for who you are. This is the bait.
Finding Freedom
Every powerful resurrection story begins with destruction. To rebuild, first, all must be un-built. Those who have grown up in the Christian faith and then left it call this process deconstruction. For some, this destruction is a sudden “burn it all down!” event. For others, like me, it was a slow game of Jenga.